In 2022, I have won and I have lost. Some of my personal goals were exceeded, some were far from being achieved. 2022 was a good representation for me of what life is: you don’t win all the time, you don’t lose all the time either. As I reflect on this past year, and try to give my best for 2023, I have concluded that I have learned 7 priceless lessons in 2022.
These lessons will be the baseline of my new year; as every year, I try to continuously grow and be better. And because I strongly believe in building each other up, I want to share those. So here we go!
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LESSON #1: Enjoy the process not the result
For a physical standpoint, 2022 has represented for me a new big step. I became an IRONMAN: swam, biked and ran for 144 miles total. That was an incredible experience that I originally thought I would not be able to achieve. But I did it and I am very proud of it! Very proud of crossing the finish line, of receiving the congratulations from my wife, my kids and my friends, of sharing stories of the race, and the strategies used…But very quickly, I went back to my normal life and the pride and joy of this accomplishment faded away. As I am back to my routine of practicing my workout for my next challenge, I realize that the process is really what I am enjoying. The process of challenging myself, the process of trying to be consistent with time, the process of progressively improving my performance, the process of being alone during these long run/swim/bike rides….
I believe that in the past, I have put too much importance on the results and not enough on the process to get the desired result.
Lesson #1 of 2022: Enjoy the process, enjoy the ride. The destination is not as important as we think. The process will be long, it is better to appreciate every moment and be in the moment.
LESSON #2: Consistency beats volume every single time
People set some very hard targets for the new year, start grinding intensively, and then give up because they realize that they cannot sustain. That’s actually a big reason why New Year resolutions are not sustained for a majority of people. I realized quickly I couldn’t sustain the kind of training I wanted to have for my Ironman. But instead of giving up, I made myself a promise: Train every day, even if it is just 10 minutes. The consistency creates a habit, the habit keeps compounding every day, and it got me to an Ironman race finish line. You want to be a Social Media influencer, you need to consistently publish. You want to be a good parent, you need to consistently interact with your kids. You want to be a good spouse, you need to consistently date your partner. It is not how long your social media post is, it is not the fact that you went playing the entire afternoon with your kids and then not have time for them for the next 2 weeks, it is not that you went on vacation with your wife, and then be a stranger to her for the next couple of months,…it is the constant grind that pays off.
Lessons #2 of 2022: focus on being consistent, not how hard you are grinding. Once you are consistent, you can increase the volume if you can. But never sacrifice consistency. Never.
LESSON #3: Don’t forget happiness in the process
I am very driven. It is a blessing and a curse. I have the ability to achieve a lot of great things because of being so goals oriented. It is great and not so great. In the process, I have at times, lost myself, lost my priorities,…Every goal requires some off-balance, but not for too long. I really believe that being uncomfortable is necessary to achieve a next step. But, there is a “But”!. I have caught myself in 2022, being stressed, being anxious, not being as happy as I usually am,… just worrying too much about the next goal and the risk of not achieving it. It is not worth it. My health, the happiness of my soul are significantly more important than any goal I have.
Lesson #3 of 2022: If I feel unbalanced in 2023 for too long, I will make sure to slow down, to create boundaries, to nurture my personal needs, and re-center myself to who I am.
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LESSON #4: Patience, patience, patience…
It is part of enjoying the process (lesson #1). Have faith and patience. I have learned the hard way in 2022 that the more I chase a goal being impatient, making short-cuts, making too many sacrifices, and the more the goal runs away from me. Being impatient will make me getting injured by pushing my work out too much. I know I need physically some rest, but I know I need to follow my workout plan to achieve my goal. So, what do I do? I push myself. And then I get injured! It is like the universe is saying “Anthony, trust the process, take your time, be patient. And if you don’t, I will force you to stop”. Being patient and having faith is like saying to the Universe that you have self-confidence and faith. That you have trust. That you know the future is going to get better. Life is not easy. Far from it. Being patient for the better season is part of the process
Lesson #4 of 2022: Take a deep breath Anthony, things will be ok. Maybe now it sucks. But eventually it will get better. Be patient and have faith.
LESSON #5: My desired identity is my #1 go-to for decision making
If I am at a cross-road, and need to make an important decision, I need to come back to the person I want to be. Not the person I am. But the person I want to be. A very fun exercise I have been through is to describe the future “YOU”. Who is the future “YOU”? What characterizes the future “YOU”? What values and goals do the future “YOU” have? What kind of family man or business man is the future “YOU”. It is a fun exercise! I highly recommend it. And then every time, I have to make an important decision, I come back to the future “ANTHONY”. The best of the best “ANTHONY” in my books at least. What would the future “ANTHONY” do in this situation? Would he be honest? Would he be courageous? Would he be cautious? Would he jump on this opportunity? Would he persevere in this situation? Once you are clear on the person you want to be, it is a very helpful guideline to make decisions.
Lesson #5 of 2022: By being clear on the person I want to become, the decisions I need to make in every situation become clear.
LESSON #6: Who is around you will greatly determine the person you are becoming
My wife has been my greatest fan in 2022.she has always been. She was cheering me up when I was sad or disappointed. She was excited for me when I was winning. She was advising me, correcting me, being true to me, being a sounding board, being a counsellor, a best friend,…I am the best version of me when I listen to her, when I debate with her,…We don’t always agree, we don’t always see eye to eye, but we respect each other, we truly love each other, we want the best for each other. I have few close friends who have shown me in 2022 that I could rely on them and I could truly trust them, and hopefully I have demonstrated the same to them. These close friends, my wife, some members of my family make me a better person, help me to re-center when I need to, encourage me and guide me with my goals…
Lesson #6: Choose wisely your partner in life and your friends as they have a huge impact on your life. And be sure to share with them. One night, after a long discussion with my wife, I told her: “I am so happy to share this thing called ‘life’ with you.”
LESSON #7: Emotion regulation is a super power
Breaking news: sh.t happens. There will be bad news, there will be chaos, there will be disappointment. Adversity hits all of us at different times. There is no exception. Welcome to life! The ability to go back to inner peace at these difficult times is a super power. Not only you can avoid stress and pain but also you are then in a better position to make the right decision in crucial moments. When I let my negative emotions get the best of me, I am in pain and I become stupid. Two mental states I don’t aspire to be in.
One trick I plan to use in 2023 is to remind myself in these difficult moments 3 things:
- Most of the time, things are not as bad as they seem
- The better is yet to come
- How can I make this situation an opportunity?
